In this powerful and eye-opening episode of The Hanley Effect, hosts Dr. John Dyben and Dr. Rachel Docekal sit down with Brian Martin, founder and CEO of the Childhood Domestic Violence Association, to explore a deeply overlooked form of trauma: childhood domestic violence.
Brian shares his personal story of growing up in a home impacted by domestic violence and how, for years, he didn’t even have the language to describe what he experienced. That lack of awareness, he explains, is part of the problem. When we can’t name something, we can’t begin to heal from it.
This conversation dives into the long-lasting impact of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), particularly the trauma of witnessing violence between caregivers. Brian explains that even without direct physical abuse, simply being in an environment of unpredictability, fear, and instability can fundamentally shape how a person sees themselves and the world.
The episode also explores the “10 common negative beliefs” that often develop in individuals who grow up in these environments, beliefs like guilt, shame, unworthiness, and disconnection. These internal narratives can persist into adulthood, influencing relationships, mental health, and even increasing vulnerability to substance use.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone in recovery, working in mental health, or seeking to better understand how early life experiences shape adult behavior and how healing begins with awareness.
Key Takeaways
- Childhood domestic violence is one of the least recognized forms of trauma, yet incredibly impactful.
- You don’t need to be physically abused to be deeply affected; witnessing violence is enough.
- Trauma doesn’t disappear with age; “time does not heal all wounds.”
- The brain forms beliefs in childhood before it’s fully developed, and then seeks evidence to reinforce them.
- Many individuals carry persistent negative beliefs like guilt, shame, and unworthiness into adulthood.
- Addiction can be rooted in a search for certainty and emotional stability.
- Healing begins with naming, understanding, and acknowledging these early experiences.
About our Guest
Brian Martin is the founder and CEO of the Childhood Domestic Violence Association (CDVA), a nonprofit dedicated to raising awareness and providing resources for individuals who grew up in homes impacted by domestic violence. Drawing from both personal experience and extensive research, Brian has become a leading advocate for recognizing childhood domestic violence as a distinct and significant form of trauma. Through his work, including his book Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, Brian helps individuals understand the lasting impact of early experiences and guides them toward healing and self-awareness. Learn more at: https://cdv.org/
Learn more about Hanley Foundation at hanleyfoundation.org or call 844-502-4673.
