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Martha Putnam, Hanley Center Foundation, Coordinator of Adult Programs

Consequences Part 3. 

RELATED, REASONABLE and RESPECTFUL.  As you have the conversation with your children about consequences you set the tone.

Your children may not feel that any consequences are necessary.  Stay the course and keep the conversation moving forward.

As you think about each standard, apply consequences that are related to the standard, reasonable for the offense and age of the child and respectful.

For example, our paper looks like this:


“No Fighting”– no hitting, kicking, pulling, punching, bumping, slapping or hurting anyone with our hands/feet.

  1.  Verbal Warning
  2.  20 minutes of cleaning. If you use your hands to hurt—you can use them to help.  I set an egg timer for 20 min and give them each a bathroom, a roll of paper towels and an all natural cleaner.  They can clean the toilet, shower and tub in 20 minutes.
  3. 20 minutes of weeding. If you use your hands to cause harm you can use them to make something beautiful. They get to pull weeds in the courtyard for 20 minutes and write an “I’m Sorry” note to the person they hurt.

Depending on the age of your children the consequences will be different and no matter what you come up with as a family- just remember the 3 R’s, RELATED, REASONABLE and RESPECTFUL. 

What are some consequences that work for your family?  Make sure to leave your ideas for other parents on our facebook page, #MomSays.